when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
