He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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