this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
