We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Randomize
