He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
