I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
