did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
