i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
