I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
