Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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