My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
