I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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