he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
