no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
