I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
