Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
