Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
