you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize