Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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