Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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