Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
