Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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