What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
