Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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