I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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