I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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