Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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