You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize