Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she looked like the before picture.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
