Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
