When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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