Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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