Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize