***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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