I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
