Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
