operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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