dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
