you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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