What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
