god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
