Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
