Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize