Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
