U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
