Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
