dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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