Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
id be glad to
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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