So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
