Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
