my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize