k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
