i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
