I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
