Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize