He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
