dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
