You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
