my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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