I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
