Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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