If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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