wat bout pragnant strippers??
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just tell him i said nine months
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
