I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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